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(These ideas are explicated in this sloppy manifesto)

Wednesday, April 28, 2004
 
BetterVegas: Trained to fail...

I'm about to begin work on my CRS designation for Real Estate, the Cadillac of indecipherable initials on Realtors' business cards. The first class I'm taking is in Las Vegas in mid-June. The class is offered at the Hilton and the school running it made a sweet room deal with the Flamingo. I can't exist without wi-fi, so I'm staying up-Strip but down-market to be near the T-Mobile HotSpot at Starbucks, either the Sahara or the Riviera. (Neither one has a decent poker room, but the Stardust does, across the street.)

But: The irony of this is, after all the nasty things I've said about The Nowhere Train, I'm going to be right on the route of the goofy Las Vegas Monorail.

But: The irony of that is, the goofy Las Vegas Monorail isn't running yet. It will be months late coming on-line, possibly more than six months late.

But: It gets even better. This wonderful article from the Las Vegas Sun unintentionally does something newspapers, from all appearances, are not supposed to do: It does the math.

The one argument to be made for the goofy Las Vegas Monorail is that it will service the convention business at the Hilton, the Las Vegas Convention Center and the Sands Convention Center. Conventioneers can commute in from their hotels further south on the Strip, then commute back after a hard day of being convened, convoked, converged and conviviated.

But: That nasty old math:
Did you know that each of the seven four-car trains can carry up to 228 passengers, 57 per car?

And did you know the ride from the MGM to the Sahara takes 14 minutes?
That is, each of the seven trains can carry 912 passengers per hour, two trips each way. The seven trains total can carry a maximum of 6,384 passengers per hour. Assuming conventioneer rush-hour traffic, only half those passengers matter, those going in the direction of the rush: 3,192 passengers. Where in Las Vegas can you find 3,192 people--other than on any random buffet line, that is? On the other hand, the Consumer Electronics Show imports a small city worth of geeks to be convened, convoked, converged and conviviated every year. If each one of them decided to take a single trip on the goofy Las Vegas Monorail--that alone would take a couple of days.

Las Vegas cannot deliver the product at retail. That's why there are 3,192 people on line at the buffet. But the goofy Las Vegas Monorail promises to be a disaster even by the egregiously low standards of Sin City. The fact that it's in such a lousy location may save it from even greater ignominy.





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